July 02, 2003
My name is Lacy. I will be a sophomore in August, when school starts again.
I am 14 years old. Tomorrow, July 3rd, I will turn 15.
I have been sexually active for over six months, now. I lost my virginity in the back seat of a car, on Friday December 13. His name was Colby, and was a year older than me, and went to a nearby city (where I was about to move to).
I had a very big crush on Colby. I had known about him for a year, and had seen him mess around with girls/my best friends then screw them over, but I didn't care.
I thought if I had sex with him, he would like me more, and we would get serious, and have a relationship.
Well, that didn't happen. He never called me after he took my virginity. In fact, he just told the whole school (the new school I was about to go to).
I was very angry with him, and too nervous to call. I switched schools after the Christmas break, and I started the 2nd semester. I saw him, and he was very sweet to me, and showed me around and walked me to class.
Soon after, we started to have sex again, but never got into a relationship. I thought maybe he wasn't ready for a relationship, but I would wait and just have sex with him until he was ready.
We were very careful, and used protection.
I made cheerleader for the new school, and he said he didn't date cheerleaders - it was his "rule" - but I had been a cheerleader at my last school, that he knew of.
Finally I realized he was only using me for sex, and didn't want a relationship from me, but I liked him so much I didn't care. As long as we were together, I was happy.
He got a girlfriend - a cheerleader at another school about an hour away - and we still continued to have sex.
Then, one day, mid-April, our condom broke. We were both very scared, but luckily I had my period and wasn't pregnant.
I started to talk to other guys after that (still liking Colby very much, we still had sex occasionally, but we didn't tell anybody).
My best friend, Kelly, had an older brother who had already graduated. He had a friend named Eric, who was very attractive. He was a senior when I was a freshman.
I always had a crush on him, but didn't take it anywhere.
On May 13, Kelly and I had smoked marijuana, and called Eric to come get us. He did, and took us to one of his friends houses.
We were very bored, so Eric and I left to get Wataburger for our friends.
We returned two hours later with no food. Instead we had taken a stop at a park and had sex. Our condom broke, and we didn't think much of it.
The next day I went home and had sex with Colby, where our condom broke once again. We didn't think much of that, either.
On June 23, I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. I was very scared because I didn't know which guy to tell.
I decided to tell Colby the baby was his, because, although he was younger than Eric, he was more responsible. I felt like I had made the right decision.
I called him over to my house to talk. I told him the news. He was very mad, and hit me several times, leaving me a black eye (that I told everyone was an accident stunting at cheerleading).
Later that week, he came by my house with flowers and apologized, and promised everything was going to be OK, and that he would stay with me until this was over.
We knew that abortion was our only option because we were both very popular, and very active in sports at school, and our lives would be ruined.
So now Colby will pick me up at 8:00 in the morning, on my birthday, for me to go get an abortion, and kill my baby, that I wasn't even sure was his.
