August 22, 2003
It was a total shock to find out I was pregnant. But after the initial shock had subsided, I was pleased, and as I had been living with my boyfriend for about 2 years, I thought everything would be OK.
But, he was horrified, and kept asking, “What are you going to do?” and [saying] that he didn't want our baby. He did say he would support us, but he didn't want to.
Looking back, over three years later, I am at a total loss as to why I had an abortion, and I have, without success, been trying to get pregnant ever since.
The abortion was appallingly easy to arrange, and was done and dusted within one day.
The place was clean, and the staff friendly, but it was obviously a business — which had added to my guilt that I paid for someone to kill my child.
I don't remember a day, since, that I haven't wished I could turn back the clock. I feel a loss, like I'm a mother, but with no baby to hold. It's a physical pain.
As far as I can tell, the father has put the whole thing out of his mind — we don't talk about it.
I don't have the words to explain how much I regret the abortion. My advice to anyone thinking about it, is to think some more.
I am pro-choice, but no one should think it's a choice you can walk away from.
* Not her real name
