September 17, 2003
In 1969, when I was 19 years, old I got married. Practically nine months to the day I gave birth to a baby boy. My marriage was really rocky, and when my son was 9 months old, we decided to separate.
After the separation, we tried to reconcile, and I became pregnant. We were still separated.
My parents were very, very upset that I was pregnant. They felt that I should have an abortion, and they told me that one day I would have more babies, but the time wasn't right for this baby.
In those days (it was 1971), in Vancouver, BC, in order to have an abortion, you had to have permission from your family doctor, a gynecologist and a psychiatrist.
I really did not want an abortion. I wanted to have the baby. In order to placate my parents, I decided to go through the procedure of seeing the three professionals.
The family doctor, a Dr. L------ C----, who had a practice on H------- Street [details supplied] in Vancouver OK'd the abortion, as did the gynecologist.
Then it was time to go to the psychiatrist. He denied it. He told me that it would bother me my entire life, that some people were cut out to have abortions, but I was not one of them.
I breathed a sigh of relief and, of course, nothing could be done much to my parents dismay!
So, I proceeded along with my pregnancy. At close to five months pregnant, I was giving my son his supper, one night, when I got terrible pain and bleeding.
I phoned my mother to come over and she took me to the hospital. Dr. C. came in, and I remember my mother standing at the end of the bed and saying, "Kick her in the stomach a few times to make sure it's really dead!"
Dr. C. said, "The baby is already dead."
I was so young and inexperienced I never thought to ask, "How on earth would you know that the baby is dead when you just got here, and haven't even examined me yet?"
Anyway, he said that I had to get a D&C. So, later on, I was wheeled up to the operating room for the "procedure".
I truly believed that the baby was dead! The really strange part is that, two weeks before this happened, I had a dream. In the dream I was in an operating room, and I was having the baby, except it was too early for the baby, and as I was being wheeled in I was telling the nurses this.
When I was being wheeled into the operating room, to have the so called D&C, the operating room was set out exactly as it was in my dream. Also the nurse was the same even though I had never seen her before in my life!
So the "procedure" was done and, the next morning, Dr. C. came in to see me. (I was still in the hospital.)
I asked him what sex the baby was, and he abruptly told me that it was too early to tell. I know now that at that gestation that baby was fully formed and, perhaps, viable. As a matter of fact, my daughter in law gave birth to a baby at 22 weeks gestation, and the baby is now a healthy happy three-year-old!
I was discharged from the hospital feeling such an emptiness. But, life went on.
I knew in my heart that it was nature's way. I had not had an abortion… or so I thought!
Eight years ago, my mother and I were at Bingo. I don't know what possessed her to tell me what she told me. She said, "Jeannie… do you remember when you had your miscarriage?"
I said, "Yes"
She said, "Well, the baby wasn't really dead. Once you were under anesthetic, Dr. C. came out of the operating room and told me that the baby wasn't really dead and asked Dad and I what we wanted him to do. We told him to abort it. If you say anything about this to anyone, I will deny it."
I was devastated!!! All I could think about was that poor little baby inside me, curled up so secure, and that barbarian ripping him out of me! The anger is so intense!
My mother died three years ago, and I now live in Australia, and I did go on to have four more beautiful children. But, I have always felt such a loss for the poor little baby that wasn't to be. It was bad enough that I thought I lost the baby through miscarriage, but the baby was murdered!!!
I would really like to know what Dr. C. put on the medical report… and I wonder if the baby was alive when delivered, or if the poor little thing was in pain.
I feel like contacting the college of physicians and surgeons in Vancouver and report Dr C. for doing an illegal abortion because it was indeed an illegal abortion.
I was 21 years old, and of legal age. He had no right to ask my parents what to do.
When he discovered the baby was alive, he should have just left it there!
Dr. C. would be in his seventies right now, and I'm sure he would not be practicing medicine anymore. He may even be dead, himself, for all I know.
I just feel that there hasn't been "closure" on this issue.
