April 01, 2004
I was a junior in college when I got pregnant. My mother, who was an RN and a self-proclaimed radical feminist, insisted that I have an abortion.
I had been taking antibiotics for a lung infection, and she lied to me saying, “This baby will be a deformed monster and has no chance.”
The rest of my family found out about the pregnancy, and my grandfather refused to speak to me or see me “until the problem is taken care of.”
When I hesitated, my mom threatened to disown me if I “shamed the family.” Apparently giving birth is more shameful than murder.
Mom took me to Planned Parenthood and paid for the abortion.
I felt sick, and trapped, and wanted to get away, but she was there “to make sure you get this done.” She helped to hold me down during the procedure, which was horrific. There was no anesthesia and I was in terrible pain, but the worst thing was the awful sucking noise of the vacuum extractor, and knowing that my child was dying a violent death at that same moment.
I still feel the devastation of that day. It was a medical rape.
I was determined never to face this again, so when I found myself pregnant at 23, I was terrified. I was in a terrible relationship. I still lived at home, and Mom wanted me to have another abortion or marry the father. This time, for all his faults, the father was willing to marry me.
I divorced the father soon after my daughter's birth. I do not for a second regret having my daughter, despite tricky and difficult circumstances. I do regret ever having an abortion, even though that was supposed to be “easy.”
I will never forget my first child, who never had a chance to be born, especially since my daughter dearly wishes for a sibling, and now I can't have any more children due to medical problems.
Don't let it happen to you!
