August 17, 2004
I'm 19, and just had an abortion 2 weeks ago.
I hate it, I can never stop thinking about it, or what it would be like if I had of kept it.
Yah know, that could've been my little girl running around cuddling me, calling mum, looking at me with my eyes.
At the time, I was living overseas, away from my family and friends.
I was late with my period, so I got a home pregnancy test. Well, it was positive. I was so scared, I didn't know what to do. I put it to the back of my head, didn't want to think it was.
I didn't have a boyfriend.
Finally, I told my mother. About a month later, I came home. By this time, I was almost 3 months.
I had already decided there was no way I was keeping it. So 5 days after I got home, I got it done.
It was so quick, I didn't think, I know I didn't. I was being selfish, only thinking of me, not of another life inside of me.
I killed it. I hate it. I want it back soo bad. I want my baby.
Yah know, what I hate the most after the operation? No scars, not even a sore stomach. I was fine, even though I just commited murder!
I love my baby and miss it.
Why did I do it?
